Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize