Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
