if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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