Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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