Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
