well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize