loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
