You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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