He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
