Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize