Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
