I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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