I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize