I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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