You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
