totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
