My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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