I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize