So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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