Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
