I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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