so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
