Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize