Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
