I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
