nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
