Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
