i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
