a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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