imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
