nut hugger
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
