I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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