Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
