He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize