I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
