its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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