hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
