I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
