Im at strip club and am horny
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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