i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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