Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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