Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
