That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
