shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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