I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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