just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
