how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
