The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
