Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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