guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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