I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Someone came in the potted fern
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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