About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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