you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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