I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I intend to get homeless drunk
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
