i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
